My Secret Bully
Trudy Ludwig, author
Abigail Marble, illustrator
River Wood Books, 2004, Fiction
Suitable for: Ages 5-11
Themes: Bullying, Behavior, Friendship, Relational Aggression
Opening/Synopsis: “Katie is my secret bully. A lot of people would be surprised to know this because they think she’s my friend. And she does act like my friend…sometimes.” Monica and Katie have been best friends since kindergarten. Monica enjoys being around Katie when they have fun together. But at school, Katie is just plain mean. She gossips about Monica, threatens her when she plays with other kids, and stakes a claim on her friends. Monica’s mother confronts her when she doesn’t want to go to school. Mom shares her own experience with a bully. With Mom’s support, Monica musters the strength to stand up to Katie with interesting results.
Why I like this book: Trudy Ludwig has written a moving story about emotional bullying among girls. Abigail Marble’s illustrations are emotive, colorful and support the story. Since Ludwig wrote this book, bullying continues to increase among girls. It takes many forms “exclusion, humiliation, manipulation and name-calling.” There are many reasons why, but social media hasn’t helped the situation. Trudy has tackled a poignant subject about relational bullying/aggression. The book is an important read for kids, for teachers and school counselors who have or are creating bullying prevention programs.
I’m featuring Trudy’s books because they are a culmination of what she’s learned about bullying as an author. She is a member of the International Bullying Prevention Association and is a popular Random House speaker. On Monday I will review Confessions of a Former Bully, which brings closure between Katie and Monica. It is written as a journal. I will end with Trouble Talk next Friday. Last spring, I featured her book Better Than You, a book for boys about bragging and hurtful behavior.
Resources: The book provides a message or parents and teachers, and interesting information for victims. There is also a guide for classroom discussion and other resources. Trudy Ludwig is a member of the International Bullying Prevention Association and is a popular speaker. Visit Trudy Ludwig at her website. She has recently written a Wonder Lessons Guide for Random House about bullying. A great tool for teachers and parents during October’s National Bullying Prevention Month.
Every Friday, authors and KidLit bloggers post a favorite picture book. To see a complete listing of all the Perfect Picture Books with resources, please visit author Susanna Leonard Hill’s Perfect Picture Books.
Children's Books Heal 
As one of my daughters experienced exactly this type of problem, I’m very glad to have this book added to our list. There’s something much more difficult, in some ways, about a bully who is also supposed to be a friend – it’s confusing. Thanks for sharing this one, Pat, and I look forward to the other 2 you mentioned.
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Susanna, my daughter also experienced similar bullying. That’s why the book meant so much to me. But, I’m not sure 18 years ago, we used the term with relational agression. Perhaps “two-faced or mean.” I’m just happy there are so many books appearing addressing this growing problem.
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This sounds great, Pat. I like how the mom helps because not everyone would tell their mom.
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Yes, it was helpful to Monica have her mother share a similar experience of her own. Many kids don’t tell there parents.
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You can’t go wrong with a Trudy Ludwig book and this one is such a great teaching tool! We love Trouble Talk, too. My second graders actually gasp out loud at the mean stuff they experience in Trudy’s books, but what better way to learn empathy than to feel what they’re feeling … and then take action! Thanks, Pat.
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Barbara, I’m glad your students are fans of Trudy’s books. I think using a book to work with kids is such a great way to broach the subject and get conversations going.
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Sounds like some great choices for us for national bullying month, Pat. This sounds like quite a mature picture book, and I certainly have found as girls hit that 9-11 age, their behaviour can me painfully hurtful toward each other. Like Susanna, i think it is poignant that the bully is a ‘friend’.
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Joanna, all the reason to start teaching kids about bullying at an earlier age and keep at it. You are right, girls between ages 9-11 can be very hurtful. I know that’s when I experienced it myself. Vivian shared an app today about bullying — a great tool for the classroom.
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There can never be enough books about bullying. There are so many ways to approach the subject and tackle the problem. Some offer outward solutions, some offer inner solutions beginning with the child’s sense of self and self-esteem. I think both approaches are necessary. Friends are often bullies, and feeling loved can become convoluted as we often love our abusers.
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Great insight Niamh. I have often wondered about how childhood bullying has impacted the self-esteem of many women and led to abusive relationships later in life. I agree there can never be enough books about bullying — starting at a very early age.
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I think I’ve read this book. It teaches a good message and is written very well. I posted an anti-bullying book today too, but it is meant for younger kids. It is good there are books for all ages.
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Erik, great time to post with National Bullying Awareness Month. I’m glad your school has an anti-bullying program in place. Did you check out Vivian Kirkwood’s post of an app about bullying.
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An excellent review and choice of book Pat. As my first ms to be critiqued actually deals with bullying, this will be good research for me to see how Trudi proaches the subject for her young readers. Thankyou for this timely review, Pat.
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Diane, glad you liked the books. You may want to look through everything thing I’ve shared. Go luck with your book. Can’t be too many books on this subject.
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This is a situation that we also see in a lot of adult relationships, where people are shocked to learn that one person in the relationship is very different in some situations than in others. It makes it really hard for the person being bullied to get support when most of the people around her (or him) only see the nice behavior by the bully, and never the mean stuff. With October being anti-bullying month, this is a great place to start as we all offer resources and seek ways to stop the hurting that is so pervasive. Thanks Pat!!!! Here’s our page on anti-bullying resources http://www.reachandteach.com/content/article.php?story=bullied
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Craig, thank you for sharing your wonderful resources. You put a lot of hard work into creating them. I love the work Reach and Teach does. You are all so committed to making a difference. And, I’m glad you liked Trudy Ludwig’s book on relational aggression. I had planned to review Say Something, but another member of our group did a lovely review. Meant to send her link to you: http://familyshipstories.blogspot.com/2012/07/recommended-picture-book-say-something.html. Again, thank you! – Pat
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This is such an important topic. I love that her books are so direct and true to life. She doesn’t hold anything back. Great review!
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Carrie, I’m glad you like Trudy’s book. The ones I’ll be reviewing next week are different and touch on other aspects of the subject.
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This book sounds excellent — I think people often think of bullying in terms of boys being the bully, but I know from experience how cruel girls can be. This book sounds as though it would help in so many ways. Thanks for sharing it!
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Beth, it is a wonderful book for the classroom. I also know how mean girls could be.
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Wonderful book, Pat! And so appropriate to kick off National Bullying Prevention Month which start in a couple of days. 🙂 Love the resource list! I’m looking forward to your reviews of the other books in her series…will have to check the library to see if I can get them.
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Glad you liked Trudy’s book. Know you will enjoy the others too, as each addresses the topic from a different perspective. Enjoyed the anti-bullying app you shared and look forward to your posts this month.
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Thanks, Pat! It’s going to be a busy month for everyone. 🙂
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Vivian, glad you enjoyed the book. Yes it is. There are a number of worthy events this months. Looking forward to your posts.
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And I to yours. 🙂
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I’ve been best friends with girls in school for a long time, different girls in different school, and I understand how competitive we could get with one another. Competition without restraints or guidance could very well go on to Bullying. Very glad to learn about this book. It’ll be a terrific resource for parents and teachers!
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Claudine, I think you are right about the competition among girls and how it could get out of hand. I hope more schools continue to develop anti-bullying programs.
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This is such a problem among kids. I had a discussion with a student yesterday when substituting. He was calling himself a retard….trying to be humorous. He was the cutest young man and was very receptive when I talked to him about how hurtful that word can be. I don’t know if he hadn’t ever thought about it…or if an adult hadn’t ever “called” him on it. Anyway, I hope he will think before saying it. I was substituting in the computer lab and they were making posters about cyber bullying. Their teacher had done a good job of covering this, and some of the posters were just awesome.
Thanks for highlighting this book!
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What a moving story Penny. Thanks for sharing. Glad to hear that schools are focusing on cyber bullying. Very cool.
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